I get a lot of questions in my line of work.
“Pastor Joel, what must I do to be saved?”
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 16:31).
Repent and be baptized in Jesus’ Name (Acts 2:38-39).
“Pastor Joel, did animals really talk before the Fall?”
Some of them did, yes.
“Pastor Joel, if God wants me to come to church on Sunday mornings, why did he make my bed so comfortable?”
Soft beds are a reward for hard labor and a curse upon the indolent and negligent.
“Pastor Joel, what happened to your face?”
I’ve heard this one quite a few times in the last ten days, but I’m used to it. I’ve been hearing it most of my life. I became familiar with it when I was teenager with acne and people would randomly ask me the question, including one time while sitting beside me in a church service. It all started--the question, not the acne--forty-three years ago when my mother had trouble delivering me. From what I’ve been told--I was there, but I don’t remember it clearly--the doctor grabbed my head and the side of my face with a pair of forceps and pulled me out. When I finally emerged, I arrived with a face only a mother could love.
Occasionally I show up for worship on Sundays with a black eye or other scrapes, scratches, and bruises visible on my head and neck. This should not be taken as an indication that I had to wrestle especially hard with the sermon for that week, though sometimes that is also true. Nor should you assume there are problems in my marriage or that we recently had an elders’ meeting that didn’t go well. Instead you may safely conclude that I have been practicing the infamous Rocky Balboa face block. After almost 30 years of martial arts training, my face blocking skills are legendary. Far more rare is the black eye that results from a forceful slip of the hand while tying a bow tie. That may be less common, but it is one of the occupational hazards pastors from the South must accept. --JME
