It was bound to happen eventually, I suppose. I had been tested twice after suspected exposures to COVID, twice quarantined while awaiting results, twice cleared. For most of the day Wednesday I felt just fine. I got up early, as usual, and prepared for a busy day. After a full morning, I completed a midday workout and went home to shower before my next appointment. But something was off. I felt chilly in the shower, even while standing under the warm water. My temperature had been checked at 1pm when I visited a local business, and it was normal at that time. But when I got out of the shower, it was just over 100 degrees. Not a high fever, by any means, but slightly elevated. I assumed it was simply because of the hot shower or recent workout, so I continued checking my temperature every five minutes for half an hour. It remained just above 100. I scheduled an appointment at the local 24 hour testing center and drove over for my third COVID test of the year. Friday evening my results came back positive. I had COVID-19 and was symptomatic.
The first 24 hours after discovering I was running a fever were interesting. Wednesday evening I quickly became increasingly ill. My fever went up, I had a severe headache and chills, and I found it difficult to focus on my work. (If you received any emails or text messages from me during that time that were more incoherent than usual, my apologies.) I isolated myself in my home office, and Kirstie found me asleep on the floor wrapped in two sweaters and shaking with chills. The kids brought an extra mattress into the room, and I tossed and turned there all night. The fever mostly subsided by midday on Thursday, and I have been fever-free since that time. I am still fatigued, but overall I feel much better. If Wednesday evening was the worst of it, then my experience with COVID was as a sudden onset, moderately severe, and very short-lived fever. We could wish this was the case for everyone who contracts the virus. Sadly, that is not so.
The widespread hysteria and extraordinary measures taken by government and medical authorities in response to COVID-19 has been unfounded, at best, and arguably both counterproductive and harmful. Those interested in a better evidenced and more responsible proposal with widespread support from experts in relevant fields should consider Dr. Jay Bhatttacharya’s essay in the October 2020 edition of Imprimis entitled “A Sensible and Compassionate Anti-COVID Strategy”. Most of us should have little reason for alarm from a COVID-positive test. It is inconvenient, no doubt. The thought of sitting on the bench for the next 10-14 days does not thrill my soul. And the consequences for those whom I may have exposed before my symptoms appeared are also frustrating. But like the vast majority of people who contract this version of the Coronavirus, my experience will be most likely limited to mild to moderate symptoms followed by the natural production of antibodies and no long-term impairment to my health.
Arizona has been experiencing a dramatic increase in the number of COVID cases in the last several weeks. This might be explained by a number of factors, but there is no arguing that hospitalizations due to COVID-related illness have increased. Within our own congregation we have gone from having almost no documented cases of COVID to close to a dozen infected households in less than two weeks. As one of our ruling elders observed: “I have gone from not knowing anyone with COVID, or anyone awaiting COVID test results, to having COVID effects all around me in the blink of an eye.” Indeed, this ought to be sobering and humbling. No matter how skeptical some of us may be about the media’s characterization of the severity of this virus or how much we may disapprove of the government’s strategy in seeking to contain and control the spread, we should not deny that the virus is real and has the potential to seriously harm a certain segment of the population, specifically the elderly and those who are already immuno-compromised. This is a reminder that though we have massive brains and an even larger sense of self-importance, we are but animated dust, mudmen inflated by the breath of God, and capable of being leveled by a microscopic virus too small for the human eye to see.
I will be staying at home for the next 10-14 days per CDC guidelines, not because I am concerned for my own health, but because I am obligated to protect yours. We have too many elderly members, and as a pastor I interact with too many vulnerable persons each week, for me to risk spreading the virus. I am not eager for another quarantation, though I have plenty of books and projects to keep me occupied. It frustrates me to be on the sidelines at a time when it seems our congregation needs me more, not less. But part of the beauty and wisdom of presbyterianism is that it does not run on celebrity pastors or individual personalities. The church can do just fine without her pastor. She is served well by her ruling elders and by ministry to one another, and we are all sustained by the love and leadership of our Good Shepherd.
I am not concerned about my own health, and I trust our congregation overall will come through the current outbreak. But we have members who are ill for whom we ought to be very concerned, whose suffering with the virus is far more serious, and whose vulnerability is much greater. This is a time to labor in prayer for them. Our present inconvenience will prove to be a blessing if it turns us more toward more urgent and disciplined prayer and encourages greater brotherly love and concern for one another. --JME
