I
do not claim to have perfect knowledge of my own heart (1Cor. 4:4), but what I
do know frustrates me greatly. My family knows how easily discouraged I often
am, how quickly I become impatient when under stress, and how much pride
resides in me. I spend most of my waking hours every week working in the text
of Scripture, but the more I learn and the more I teach, the more convinced I
am of how far short of God’s standard I truly fall. It gets easier every week
to confess with the congregation, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save
sinners, of whom I am the foremost!” As frustrating as this experience is
for me, I am convinced it is the way it ought to be. True growth in grace
should be paralleled by an increasing awareness of our need for that grace, a
growing sense of our own inadequacy and a greater resting in the righteousness
of Christ.
Growth
in Christ should make us more humble, not arrogant. The more arrogant we are,
the more we reveal how little we truly know, both of God’s holy standard and of
ourselves. A child who first learns to play Chopsticks
on the piano may think much of his or her ability, but an accomplished pianist
winces at timing errors an untrained ear could not even detect. This is the
function of the law and of a growing understanding of it. The increase of law
means an increase in human sinfulness (Rom. 5:20), and increased awareness of
the divine law means increased awareness of our failure to measure up to it
(cf. Psa. 19:11-14).
This
becomes a helpful test of whether we are actually growing in grace or simply increasing our
theological knowledge. Is study and religious devotion making me more humble or
haughty? Am I filled with an increasingly awareness of my own lingering
sinfulness or by awe at my holiness and spirituality? “Knowledge puffs up, but
love builds up” (1Cor. 8:1-3), and what matters is the true knowledge of God that refers to knowing and being known by Him
and walking together in love. This is the knowledge that will matter in
eternity, not how many Bible or theology questions one can answer eloquently,
but whether one knows God and is known by Him. We do not want to dismiss the
importance (nay, necessity) of a sufficient doctrinal knowledge for saving
faith, but neither do we want to equate knowing religious facts with knowing
God. True growth in grace involves seeing our sinfulness more clearly and
seeing the Savior as most precious of all. –JME
