When
most people think about love, they think of a warm feeling in the heart.
Americans use the term love in very
careless and superficial ways. We “love” movies and sports and…hot dogs? Some other
languages and cultures are more circumspect in their use of such terminology,
but the term love is almost always,
regardless of language or context, used to describe emotional affection and
attachment felt in the heart.
The
Bible describes a form of love that
is other than what we often describe by that name. It is true the Bible sometimes
uses love in affectionate ways. We
are commanded to “Love one another with brotherly affection” (Rom. 12:10). We
are called to a love that provides comfort
(Php. 2:1). We ought to genuinely love and long for one another as brethren in
God’s family (Php. 1:8; 4:1). But apart from the authentic expressions of
affection the Bible associates with brotherly love, the overwhelming majority
of the uses of love in the New Testament
refer not to an emotion of the heart but to a decision of the mind, a decision
to seek the welfare of its object.
Biblical
love is more easily described than defined. So what is this love we are
commanded to have? “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it
is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable
or resentful” (1Cor. 13:4-5). Love is laying down one’s life for one’s friends
(Jn. 15:13). Love is placing another’s welfare above one’s own (Php. 2:3-4).
Love is washing the feet of those too proud to do it themselves (Jn. 13:2-5).
Love is forgiving those whose sin has hurt us deeply and who are broken by it
(Lk. 15:20-24). Love is blessing those who hate and curse us (Mt. 5:43-48; Rom.
12:14). Love is doing good to those who want only to hurt us (Rom. 12:17-21).
Love is treating others the way we want to be treated (Mt. 7:12). Love is
showing to others the grace and mercy we have been shown by and in Christ (Eph.
5:1-2).
Biblical love is a decision expressed
in action. It may include emotional attachment as
in the case of spouses, children, and brethren. In other cases or in specific
circumstances, it may not. It is hard to feel
love for those who hate us and hurt us, but we can still do good and pray for
them. Even when we feel love, our
choices and actions should be governed more by the decision to follow Christ
than how we feel. We walk by faith, not by sight or by feeling (2Co. 5:7). May
God help us to love in this way. –JME
